Smoke On My Lips [Excerpt 5k]

The first 5000 words (plus a few) of the first draft, largely unedited. Please read to answer this question, despite it’s raw state: would it be worth continuing to read?

Achieved NaNoWriMo 2013 today.

Title: Smoke On My Lips

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Five things to know about Pax Lebeau:

She has a habit of shoving things out of the way—clothes, books, general clutter—and stuff them out of sight—closet, drawers, boxes—until the mess overwhelms its confinement. Then she cleans out.

Lavender is special to her, but she has never exactly said why.

Dream catchers hang all about her room, which is decorated with wolf-themed material goods. This makes it easy to buy gifts for her.

The radio stations in her car are all programed to country channels.

Pax absolutely hates peanut butter; taste, scent and texture. There is no hope for reconciliation.

Smoke On My Lips: London Bridge is

Title: London Bridge is [Excerpted from Smoke On My Lips]

Author’s note: At least a part of this will likely remain in the narrative.

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It wasn’t until she visited Ian’s home that summer that he found out Pax could play the piano. She watched him plunk playfully at the keys, listening to him talk. At first, she leaned on his shoulder, but then she put her arms on either side of him and started dancing her fingers over the keys. Ian immediately stopped, and stayed still, leaving her uninterrupted.

“You never said you could play,” he murmured when the instrument fell silent.

“That’s all it is, though,” she answered, pressing her nose to the crown of his dark hair. “Just playing.”

Ian patted the piano bench. “Show me?”

Smoke On My Lips [scene 2]

Another excerpt from my NaNoWriMo. Also unedited.

Title: Smoke On My Lips

.I.

There were nine years between Pax and Evander. There had always been nine years between them. Up until he graduated high school, it had never seemed to matter very much. He would play any role for her in the little stories she made up and narrated, wrapping t-shirts or scarves around his head to sport a different hairstyle, taking up props and planning secret excursions with her. He was perfectly tall enough to reach the snacks on the topmost shelf, but was equally willing to build a staircase of furniture and boxes for her to climb herself.

A part of her knew Evander did this because he was tasked with babysitting her after school. The rest of her little being did not care about this part.

Smoke On My Lips [scene]

Hot off of NaNoWriMo press, unedited. No context.

Title: Smoke on My Lips

I

At the end of almost every day, Pax goes home, taking the longest route by lightless roads where the sign says 50 but the needle taps 70, 75…

The cul-de-sac is dark and so is the house, she’s the last one in and creeps for the sake of futility. Careful with the key, with the door, and with the lock. Nothing changes, so she needs no light to navigate.

There’s a single muffled thump against the floor as she light-foots across the kitchen. Sighing, she goes to the refrigerator, finding leftovers to heat up and there is another knock, louder. It won’t stop, she knows, and if it hasn’t yet it will eventually rouse her mother.

As she opens the basement door, the light from electronic screens spill up the wall. Pax tries to be quiet on the thin-carpeted stairs and only goes down far enough to see him.